पति पत्नी के मजेदार चुटकुले

पति पत्नी के मजेदार चुटकुले 

Dedicated to married men:

Normally A Man speaks 25000 words Daily & Woman speaks 30000.

But d Problem starts When Husband comes Home after finishing his 25000 words Wife starts her 30000 

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Law of equality 

The time taken by a wife when she says I'll get ready in 5 min is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says 'I'll call u in 5 min!


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Listening to wife is like reading the terms & conditions of website.
You understand Nothing, still you click
"I Agree"......!!

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Wife: Suno ji, Doctor ne muje ek mahina aaram ke liye switzerland ya paris jaane ko kaha hai.
Hum kaha jayenge?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Husband: Dusre Doctor ke paas..

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Papa : why is your mummy sitting silently today.
Son : nothing papa. She asked for lipstick and i heard fevistick.
Papa: (with tears in eyes) god bless you son.

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Hubby Ke B'day Par Wife Ne Pucha-
Kya Gift Dun??

Hubby:-
Tum mujhe Pyar Karo, Izzat Karo aur Mera Kehna Maano...Yahi kaafi hai...!!

Wife:-
(Kuch Der Soch Ke)
Nahin Main To Gift Hi Dungi.

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I argued... She argued...
I shouted... She shouted and then she cried

Result: she won by duckworth lewis method

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Chess is the only game in the world,
which reflects the status of the husband.
the poor king can take only one step at a time ...
While the mighty queen can do whatever she likes.

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This one will surely bring a smile.

Getting married is like giving
.
.
.
.
.
"Your own Supari"..


Materialistic world..

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All Men are Brave,
Horror Movies don't Scare them....
But 5 Missed Calls from Wife ..surely does...
One Smart Guy Invented
"WhatsApp"

His Wife Added a feature in it called

'Last Seen At'

Thank god she didnt add
  'last seen with'
--------------------------------------------------------------
Punch Of D Day ....

Once A Man Asked God: "Why All Girls Are So Cute & Sweet, And All Wifes Are Always Angry

God Answered: Girls Are Made By Me ... And you make them Wife...!!!
Your Problem.. !!! 
 Hubby came home drunk. To avoid wife's scolding,
he took a laptop & started working.

Wife: Peeke aye ho kya? 

Hubby : Nahi meri ma...

Wife: Phir suitcase khol ke kya type kar rahe ho??

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There are two types of suicide ( Fast & Slow ).

Fast: Gale me rassi dalo and latak jao.

Slow: Gale me warmala dalo aur zindagi bhar latke raho.

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Ek Aadmi Jyotish se,
”Meri shadi kyon nahi ho rahi hai?”

Jyotish: ” kaise hogi pagley?
   Kundli me sukh hi sukh likha hai!!!

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What's Marriage?

Answer- MARRIAGE Is The 7th Sense Of Humans

That Destroys All The Six Senses

And Makes The Person NON Sense..!

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Definition Of Happy Couple -

HE Does What SHE Wants…

SHE Does What SHE Wants.

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Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command.

Husband: Exactly darling!  its a computer, not a Husband..!!

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'Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life."

-Shakespear

"Laughing At ur Wife's Mistakes,Can Shorten ur Life."

-Shakespear's Wife

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Arz kiya hai..

Jaldbaazi mein shadi karke sara jivan bigad loge,

wah wah wah

Jaldbazi mein shadi karke sara jivan bigad loge..

Soch samaj ke karoge toh bhi kya ukhad loge..!!

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Wife : Agar meri shaadi kisi " Raakshas" se bhi ho jaati to mai itni Pareshaan nahi hoti jitni tumare saath hu

Awesome reply :

Husband : Are pagli,,
Blood Relation me shaadiya kaha hoti hai.. !!!


Dont laugh alone pass it on.....

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बॉस ने अपने ऑफिस में एक केलेंडर लगा रखा था

" I'M THE BOSS, DON'T FORGET AND REMAIN IN YOUR LIMITS "
( मैं बॉस हूँ भूलना नहीं और अपनी मर्यादाओं में रहना )
जब वह लंच बाद लौटा तो अपनी टेबल पर उसे एक स्लिप मिली
स्लिप पर लिखा था :
"घर से आपकी श्रीमती जी का फोन आया था,
वह बहुत गुस्से में बोल रही थी
अपने साब को कह देना
जो केलेंडर यहाँ से ले गये है
चुपचाप शाम को वापस घर लाकर टांक देवें...".

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    
         पत्नी : डार्लिंग,               
            सुनते हो,..                  
   मेरी उम्र 48 साल होते हुए भी .. 
         आपका एक दोस्त            
    मेरे हुस्न कि तारीफ करता है..!! 
                                           
     पति : उस्मानभाई  होगा...     
                                           
      पत्नी : आपने कैसे पहचाना..?
                                           
          पति : वो साला               
       भंगार का व्यापारी है..!        
                                       
.

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